Friday, July 18, 2014

F--- IT!

As I've said before, things can change quickly in Cancerland, and once again our trajectory has changed.  Last week my legs began to swell.  We saw the doc on Wednesday (our last time seeing him before he moves to Houston) and the news was not good.  I'm in the middle stages of liver failure.  The chemo can't keep up anymore.

There are a couple of chemos we haven't tried, but they are known to make people VERY sick, so we have decided to stop treatment.  A hospice nurse visited us yesterday and will start coming once/week until we need her more frequently.  The doc says I probably won't see the end of the summer.

Rory knows that I will die and that we aren't sure when, but that it's probably within a  couple of months.  The community of teachers from her school have already begun to surround her with support, for which I am grateful.

My mom was here visiting when we received the news, and I'll just say that even at 43 years old, there are times it's nice to be with your mommy!

We are working on some cool family memory-building projects right now.

Visitors are welcome! I'm still up and about and we would love to have time with our friends.  Please run all scheduling through Jason.  He has become the Master Planner of the family.  Earlier in the day is usually when I feel best, when I'm not sleepy.  Speaking of food, after the doctor appointment Wed, Jason came home with this pint of happiness for me.  I believe the name of this one should be called, "Fuck it!" because usually you eat it straight out of the container with a spoon while saying that!  Oh, by the way, I can now eat whatever the hell I want!  Hello, Cheese!

Overall I feel pretty well right now. I'm on continual pain meds that make me drowsy, but other than that I'm feeling pretty well.  None of you will be surprised to know that I've already laid out plans for a Celebration of Life to take place a week or two after I'm gone, rather than a funeral.  It will include food, fun, and activities for kids!

If you have questions that you think others might have too, I'll answer publicly if you post it here. Huge love to you all, and I hope to hear from you or see you very soon!


Wednesday, July 9, 2014

We Did It!

Quick note as I'm starting chemo.  It looks like we have made tiny progress in the right direction! The four major blood work indicators show that we've slowed it down and are turning things around hopefully. Still have to take it treatment by treatment.  They are able today to give me a larger dose of chemo.  I'm so thankful and happy that I'm celebrating with fries!  Love to all!

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Curly Q

I'd thought I'd share a couple shot of my crazy curly hair right now.  Last time I lot it all it came back in curly for a while, then quickly straightened.  Thought I'd document while I could.  I'm feeling quite hopeful that this current chemo will keep working, which means my hair will be thinning out again soon and my curls will be gone.

Happy Curly Day, all!

EDIT/UPDATE:  I thought maybe I looked a bit jaundiced in these pics and confirmed with a friend that in these pics, I do, but in person, I do not.  Just didn't want anyone to think jaundice had set it.  All good!

Friday, July 4, 2014

Slow and Steady

First, let me say a huge thanks on behalf of my whole family for all the meals, dog walks, prayers, offers, kind notes, play dates, cards and emails.  We've appreciated every one of them!

Through the week since last Wednesday I felt a little stronger every day.  Slowly I've been able to be upright more and laying down less.

When I saw the doc this past Wednesday, he said that a good gauge right now was how I was feeling. I'm still dealing with lots of tummy issues which is biggest problem day-to-day, but they are helping me try to work that out.  I am scheduled for another round of chemo next Wednesday.  Of course, blood work will be done right beforehand to be sure I can have it, but I'm taking it as a good sign so far that they put me on the schedule!

We've had a ton of family in town this past week, which has been great but also a bit tiring.  My hope today is to get a change of scenery and spend a little time laying around Jason's parents' house rather than our house.  I've had almost two weeks of nothing but our house or the doctor's office!

Thanks again for everything, everyone!  For fun, here are a few pics from my family's visit this week.