|Not my spine. Not my finger.|
When you have bone mets (cancer that has spread into the bone, which I have), everything gets a little worrisome. Of anything that has been going on in my cancer world, the bone mets have been a minor blip on the screen. They were there from the start of the metastatic realization, in my lower spine, but have seemed to be very very responsive to chemo drugs and have shown indications of healing right from the beginning, so I didn't think much of them. Honestly, in my mind I kind of thought of them as "taken care of". And maybe they still are. I may just have a slipped disk like any other 40-something, which can hurt like hell and be quite debilitating. I mean, on-the-floor-unable-to-move-thinking-I-am-going-to-throw-up-from-pain-get-me-to-the-ER kind of pain (thank you for letting my kid see me like that a few days ago). Being over 40 can have its moments.
BUT, there's a chance that things are more complicated than that. There's a chance I've got a hairline fracture in my hip due to either cancer or the (ironically) bone strengthener I get via IV every month. There's a chance new tumors have developed in my bones. There's a chance this pain is permanent, which is what really scares me. My onc said the x-rays didn't show signs of new tumors, which is good, but my tumor markers (a blood test they run monthly) are up just a hair, where they had been going down steadily for the past six months on this new chemo until this week. They are still at a good number, but I don't like even the tiniest change in direction.
|Woman who has clearly been well-medicated for her hip surgery!|
So, now that it's 5:30am, I'm heading back to my happy land of Hydrocodone and Candy Crush, and hoping sleep comes soon. Good night everyone!