Friday, August 24, 2012

The Power of an Awesome Husband

It's not often I write about how Jason is doing through all this cancer #!$% except to show videos of how he celebrates with me and entertains me during treatments.  Yesterday, though, he played a huge part in framing my attitude and I wanted to share it.

After we left the doctor's office and cooked dinner, I mentioned that I wasn't sure if we should be doing any kind of celebration of the news from the doc.  I felt a bit in limbo... yes, I didn't have any more chemo scheduled, but we didn't know for certain I was done, and we didn't know what treatment was next.  My scans weren't scheduled for three weeks to give us any facts.  And let's be honest, I have metastatic cancer ... historical data shows there's a good chance that even if this chemo knocked it out completely, it will be back.  So, I wasn't really sure whether we should be marking the occasion somehow.

Jason's take on the situation was influenced directly by the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.  We've both read it in whole or part.  It's a tiny book that packs a huge punch in explaining the value of focusing on RIGHT NOW rather than holding on to emotions from the past or possible futures.  This has been valuable for us both, but especially for Jason when the Jewish (re: worrying) side of his nature takes over.  I can't recommend the book enough to anyone, especially those who have a tendency to worry (cough, cough, Mom, cough, cough).

That's why his response surprised me so much.  It sounded something like this (I can't write that phrase without hearing the Charlie Daniels Band bust out a mean fiddle, but alas, there was no fiddle at our dinner table):

'Well, my thought is that looking at RIGHT NOW, we should celebrate.  Today, you feel great, the doctor says you're done for now with chemo.  You've completed six months of treatment and so far the response has looked good.  They told you today that your blood work looks good, your tumor markers continue to go down, and your liver enzymes are looking pretty much normal.  We don't have any idea what's going on three weeks from now, so why should that stop us from celebrating the good news today??'

The only thing he could have added to make it even better was "and they say now that chocolate cake and sugar are good for you!".  He also then reminded me that while at treatment I had literally six or seven people stop me to tell me how much they liked my hair, so I also had to feel like I was looking good.  :)

I love this man.  Truly.  He is my rock, my humor, my cook, my reality, and my heart.  Truly.  And THAT is the Power of an Awesome Husband.

3 comments:

  1. My Goodness Jill, what a tribute to your husband, but I gotta say I was confused with the Charlie Daniel's song. All I can think of "RUN BOYS RUN"!!! Or the "DEVIL'S IN THE HOUSE" No kidding though, he is a terrific son-in-law who has a special place in our hearts. You did good, Jill.

    Mom

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  2. I guess I should have clarified the Charlie Daniels reference! Go to about 1:45 on the song if you aren't familiar with every word of this song like I apparently am. The phrase "it sounded something like this" is all I was going for. When I write at 2am, you have to deal with obscure references.

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  3. I've been thinking about you, this post, and life in general, Schmilly. Besides the fact that Jason is fantastic, which is true, and indisputable, the other thing that struck me is that you have NEVER been a person to let someone else dictate your perspective. It isn't that you are an optimist, it's that you have a beautiful view of the world that lines up with what you expect. Doesn't matter what the doc says in 3 weeks, either, you will still be the one to decide how you view the world.

    And I'm glad you found a partner who understands, appreciates, and supports that wonderful perspective.

    Love you!

    Ginnie

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